these days been feeling rather down. not sure wad caused it though. i'm jus not my usual self. or is that my true self? haha not sure. maybe i'm too tired. maybe lack of sleep. maybe too many things happened. i jus cant seem to concentrate and i feel so sick of everything. sick of lessons. sick of some ppl ard me. sick of the school. sick of the homework. sick of odac. odac seriously turns me off these days. i jus dread going into odac room, dread looking at the state of the room, the smell of it, the whole room jus sucks. i jus dun understand what sort of ppl we hav in odac. ppl who litters, ppl who take things out and dun place them back at their first position, ppl who jus like to mess everything up, ppl who dunno how to clear stuffs, ppl who slack, ppl who dun pay attention during meetings, ppl who likes to complain, ppl who dun put in the effort, ppl who only talk and no action, ppl who dun care. i'm not saying that i'm perfect, i might be one of those ppl mentioned, i might be worse than some, i dunno. but at least i try, i commit, i do. i hav no idea wad i'm trying to put across here, i mean, i try my best to fulfil my responsibility but it seriously hurts me when things dun go the way i hoped for. i feel so pissed when ppl mess the odac room up after my attempts to clean it. i'm pissed when ppl say they're not interested, they dun wan to do, they dun give a damn. maybe my expectations are too high, maybe thats just them. my friend once told me how nice it is to hav my own cca room, initially i tot it was, but now i totally wouldnt mind giving up the room for free. my friend said that odac is slack, odac is meaningless and immediately i would defend odac. now? i might hesitate. anyway, i am not referring to anyone in odac in particular, i am referring to the odac as a whole, which includes me. the ppl in odac are great individuals, they are fun to be with, i enjoy activities and courses with them, they rock. i understand that most of them hav put in alot of effort for the cca, i really appreciate and am grateful for their hard work. somehow, i jus feel emotional and decided to blog my thoughts down.

anyway, i havent been blogging for quite some time. many things had happened and is happening. 25 jan was the one-month anniversary of alex and me. and i received the first bouquet of roses in my life (blue!!). that really made my day =) thanks dear. about a week ago i went shopping with kes, gen and jieyi, and it was really grrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat. we bought alot of stuffs and went for steamboat for dinner. that day was simply splendid. i hope we'll go out more often and i really love them. last wed was odac orientation - FANTASTIC. this wed was odac pt - AMAZING. lol. this monday and thursday was the belaying course - ENRICHING. i got back my maths and chem test - FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!! =D soon i'm gonna meet up with senses (dy, dor, tinez, ty - i miss u guys so much). soon i'm gonna meet up with siyi and huiling (yay!!!!).

i hope i hav more time, i need 348234624696598573 hrs per day, and i need 253758973457906250746034768376837685348738956 kJ of energy per day. lol.
i need to sleep now.

{until tomorrow}