One year later. One year wiser.

Reading my last entry, I told myself 2012 would be a better year, a life-changing year.

Life-changing; yes, indeed. Better; that I don't think so.

No maater what, 2012 has come and gone. "Look ahead, let the past stay in the past", as most people would say. I am trying.

Fantastic things have had happened in 2012 - I travelled halfway across the globe and visited the states, took my Advanced Open Water, attended a yacht wedding that witnessed the matrimony of my dearest mentor and her loving husband, did my Lasik Surgery, have a room which I can finally call mine, revamped this room of mine, ran my first ever half-marathon at SCM, and gain a few friendships. These people came into my life for a reason, and definitely changed my life for good.

Of course, nothing is all good in the world. We wouldn't be able to appreciate the good things in life should there not be unhappiness. My losses, hopefully, will not end up being real losses. It hurts so badly, deeply, unknowingly, silently, and I never want to feel that way again.

Dear G, there is so much I want to tell you, but the words are stuck, the emotions hidden. Sometimes I think to myself, why can't I just drop the mask, and face you? I guess I didn't want to face the truth that I have lost you for good. Because the truth always hurt.

Dear W, you once mean the world to me. Yet, I hurt you. I destroyed my world. Now, I don't have the right and courage to put you into my world anymore. Thanks for putting me into yours.

I once told a friend that 2012 is the worst year in my life. Let it be, nothing can be worser now.

2013; you better be better. I better make you better.

{until tomorrow}