<body> {until tomorrow . <body>
Saturday, June 30, 2007


@1:28 PM

ok it has been decided that i wont change my blogskin,
since everyone loves the babe at the top.
okay la...only cass and i. hahaha.
unless i can find another blogskin with a much gorgeous babe, nicer colour scheme and better layout.
oh! i have an idea!
why not someone design a blogskin with my face in it,
it'll confirm be super gorgeous
then i'll confirm use that blogskin
yay!!!!!!! *self high*

on a not-so-high note, aka low note,
sera has flew off to USA again!!! :'(((
she's always back for only a short while
and everytime she's back, she'll be so busy that we dont really have much time to meet up.
and somehow even if we do meet up, there's kinda like a distance between us now.
things are definitely not like before.
i really miss those days when we can really talk, understand and be there for each other.
its sad for me to tell ppl that sera's my bestie when deep in my heart i know that our friendship isn't the same anymore.
honestly, do i even have a bestie now?
i mean, what is considered a bestie?
seriously i wish wish wish hard that sera and i will become like how we used to be....
OK STOP BEING EMO!
below is a pic of huiling, sera, siyi and me...we had sakae! looooong time since four of us got together, spider webs are forming over our previous photos in my computer. lol...

Then i also met up with my cousins. Sakae-ed too.
see how nicely i designed the pic!!
did it using some program called Photostudio 2000 (like damn ancient program right)
adobe photoshop can do much better! i want adobe photoshop!!!

i met up with my ex-colleagues too. was praying damn hard that they wont choose sakae
cos i was so sick of sakae.
luckily they went to Pizzahut. it's been a while since i last had pizza.
but actually not much diff la since everytime its all-time-favourite hawaiian pizza
hahahha the next time i'm having pizza, i'm going to make the decision.
anything but hawaiian
not that its not nice (its very nice in fact)
just that i want variety
i brought a cam on that day but i forgot to take pictures with them. sad =(

yesterday night attended wee keat's OCS social night at The Pines
many of the guys brought very pretty dates lor...
lots of eye-candies around (i mean the ladies only. lol.)
all the dates received a rose each. so sweet of the organizers.
ok i know i pose like a retard with the rose thankyouverymuch.

actually i think the dates are there only to be PHOTOGRAPHERS lor!
we kept taking photos for them!!
whenever the guys crowd together for photo-taking,
there'll be a line of babes in front holding cameras saying one-two-three
many of the guys claimed "wah i feel like we're stars"
anyway the food was only so-so, service below average, programmes quite good and atmosphere abit weird at my table cos all the girls dunno everyone else at the table.
but its quite amazing to see how brudderly the guys are.
they went thru so much shit, sweat, blood together during the past months.
so i guess the experiences and memories they shared are something most girls will not understand.
NS definitely bonded them.

ohya. i saw videos and pictures of their trainings. *shudders and hide under my blanket*
i CANNOT imagine myself going thru all that.
my face. my nails. my hair. omgggggg nooooooooooooooooooo!
the only thing i like is having a better figure. LOLLLLLLL!
i mean, i already complain so much in odac.
i may jus kill myself in ns.
conclusion: NO compulsory NS for females!



{until tomorrow}

Wednesday, June 27, 2007


@11:52 AM

had a dream yesterday.
someone (i forgot who) was tempting me with a burger.
i was really really hungry.
but guess what? i SUCCEEDED in rejecting that burger!!
was feeling so triumph when i suddenly woke up
and realised that i AM hungry.
looked at the clock and saw that it was a freaking 5.29 AM.
like wth la i refuse to crawl out of bed in that wee hours to find food k
so i went back to sleep with my growling tummy
like dammit i should have eaten that burger!
hahahha~
cos eating in my dreams wont make me fat...
ok whatever...

anyway i dunno if i am the one responsible but gen is now getting emo over appearance issues too. kept complaining to me and kes that she's fat. i didnt try to tell her tt she's not fat cos i know she'll not accept that. i jus said that we'll go exercise together and we control our diets. its funny and yet sad that so many girls around me are losing confidence over their appearance when they actually look fine.
its time that MEN change their minds on how they THINK women SHOULD look.

and now its time i start thinking how my blog should look.
should i change my blogskin?
i love the colour
love the layout
love the gorgeous babe at the top
but i'm tempted to change to another skin
yet i'm afraid i'll regret changing
how?
should i?
should i?
should i?


{until tomorrow}

Tuesday, June 19, 2007


@12:13 PM

Class gathering at Minds Cafe was GREAT =D
as usual not the whole s06 turned up but we still had fun w/o the others (hahahha jus kidding la! i love everyone in so6 k.)
We played rather lame games la like the ducky and the make-ppl-say-that-word games....
and the most funny thing was the girls actually went out and stand along the road just to CHAT instead of taking pics. so random lor! we are unique ppl... wahahha.
ohya and they bought a cake for me!! CHOC MUD CAKE from my fav cake shop SECRET RECIPE!! darn chocolately and rich and thick. yummy! but i feel as thou i must skip one thousand meals after eating that slice of cake cos its oh-so-so-so-so-fattening.... hahaha.
thanks a gazillion to kes, vera, shulin, shaina, jiat yue, wee keat, ken, jason, boon long and ming hui for the SUPER LOUD birthday song....
and special thanks to boon long for making me sink my face into my cake jus to lick that candlestand out...haha althou i play cheat la =P (jiat yue darling i wan the pics!!!)
after that we went to shaina's house for blackjack, food, mahjong and dvd session. ok i suck at gambling cos i lost a grand total of $2.60 hahaha.
omg i absolutely ADORE shadow and hero!!! i must must must have a dog in future...
reached home abt 6am, slept at 7am. slept like a pig....

so i woke up abt 11 plus and hey(!) its still my birthday and its DADDY's day too!
went to have thai food for lunch cos sis wanted it. i love pineapple rice and pandan chicken *yum!*
daddy and mummy finished the tom yum soup cos sis and i were too hot for the tom yum to handle. ok not funny...the tom yum was too hot for us to handle =P
my dinner was at The Soup Spoon at Raffles City...not bad not bad...i'll go back again for the soup...
went to watch Fantastic 4 after dinner, quite nice and funny. i want Jessica Alba's figure!!

yesterday i went down to bugis to meetup with jac for lunch. our birthday is on the same day!! =D it was nice catching up with one another. she gave me a burberry fragrance...like omg la...i felt so bad at my choice of present for her but she said she like it. hmm....at least not so bad. hehe.

my nephew came to my house yesterday. he'll be here from monday to friday cos my aunt is going overseas and asked my mummy to help her babysit.
and guess wad? he's only been here for like 2 days and its as thou disaster striked my house! walao spare me can! children gets on my nerves...
hahaha i dun wan kids in future ah!! i may jus appear in the headlines for strangling my own child...
children only looks cute when they sit there and shut up ok...
hahahah i will be the last person on earth to be considered a paedophile....
ok still got 3 more days to go before my aunt comes back...
i must endure!!

tomorrow going to meet my cousins for sakae buffet...eat eat eat again...
die liao la i dun wan to noe how many POUNDS i gained.... =(


{until tomorrow}

Saturday, June 16, 2007


@12:37 PM

i'm jobless.
again!

hahaha!! went to work as an image consultant with darling kesther at a studio.
worked six days only.
decided to leave cos i'm too good and i dun wan ppl to get jealous of me.
yalah crap la. left becos i dun like the whole concept.
learnt alot. gained alot. experience alot.
'nuff said.

was super busy the past few days of work that i didnt think abt my appearance issues AT ALL. then after i reached home on the last day of work, i started to emo AGAIN.
like wtf la...
i quick quick calmed myself down and i'm ok now =D
guess i'm prone to depression when i'm jobless.
haha!
but oh well i figured tt my depression is partly becos of my period.
cos my period came like 2 days after.
PMS sucks totally extremely absolutely ultimately to the max.

tonight meeting s06 peeps.
it's gonna be one night of high-ness and fun-ness. definitely.
jus that my stomach is giving me trouble =( oh pls go away....

.
.
.
.

HELLO EVERYONE TOMORROW IS A VERY SPECIAL DAY! =D


{until tomorrow}

Tuesday, June 05, 2007


@7:58 PM

frustrating...
i hv no idea wads wrong with me recently.
i worry about all sort of things.
to some, it may be the smallest things.


i worry abt my appearance.
my hair, the texture, the feel, how to prevent my fringe from covering my eyes while i'm growing it and i don't want to pin it up cos i look like a geek.
my skin, the dryness, the oiliness, the goddamn pores, fucking freckles, eye bags, cracked lips, hateful ugly facial hairs, irritating pimples which can't be seen by others but i can feel them.
my figure, the fats on my cheeks, arms, thighs, calves, butt, hip-sides, tummy. i fucking know that many many people hv super stubborn buldging tummies which refuses to leave no matter how much exercise or how little we eat but i cant help but envy others which have the flawless body rid of excess flabs that every woman does not mind dying to have. people with lanky and slim frame wearing whatever goddamn ahma clothes, mismatched in the most absurd way and still look good because they look hawt. the body that will never ever be laughed at. never ever be told to 'lose some weight'.
i'm fed up of having to eat and feel very guilty. its a mental torture. every single day, i think abt how much i've ate, wad i shld or shld not do so i can slim down. i keep reminding myself to stick to a low fat low carb high protein diet but how can i do that when my family or fren decided to pop by at mac or kfc or some eat-all-you-can buffet. its a torture tt every mouthful of food i swallow down looks like lumps of fats to me. i dread at the thought of going out with my frens. i realise the only way to slim down is to be very anti-social, shut indoors.
i look at myself in the mirror sometimes and think that i look normal, jus abit imperfect. i look at magazine stands, advertisements, posters screaming out at me that i look totally outrageous. mass media effect probably...but it got me real bad. i think abt joining yoga class, going for gym sessions, taking slimming pills, liposuction, using whatever rubbish flabeloss or igallop. but where does the money come from?


yes, i worry about money.
how broke i am. how bad i am at saving money. how much i like to buy. and how fucking wasteful it is to spend on fucking stupid things like food and travel when going out with frens. i realise the only way to save money is also to be anti-social. going out means spending money. and ppl say 'there are no ugly women in this world, only lazy women'. oh yea? i think it shld be 'there are no ugly women in this world, only penniless women'. i sometimes wonder if i will have enough money for my education, my campus life, my future.


future, i worry tonnes about it too.
i'm scared that i wont have a good career. i'm scared that my degree lands me nowhere, that i'll end up with a pathetic job paying me a pathetic salary which barely covers my three meals. wad if i fail in my education? wad if i dont suceed in my career? does the world need bio students with a normal degree that can be found commonly along the street? do i have the capability to carry on with a Masters then a PhD? will i regret my decision in choosing bio? how much will i be able to earn in future to feed my parents, and my kids? will i have a happy family? will my husband love me for who i am, regardless of how fat i become?


i'm tired, very tired.
tired of having to please others. to look perfect according to their standards.
tired of always having to take into consideration how others think of me.
tired of pretending i am happy and i dont give a damn.

i mean, i'm STILL NINETINE!! in my youthful yrs!!! i shld still be enjoying my innocent carefree lovely trouble-less time in this degrading world. why shld i worry abt image issues,money issues or how i will spend my remaining dying days...






i think i need counselling. but i'm sick of ppl telling me
'u look ok, veron'
'dun take things so hard'
'there r ppl who look far worse than u'
'those models are unhealthy. its more important to be healthy'
'dun care abt how others think of u'
'u're born like this, there's nothing u can do it change it'
'you must accept urself for who u r'
'have confidence in urself'
OH SHUT UP

i've heard all this like tonnes of hundreds of thousands of times. and i'm immnue. yes, prob i need to find back my long-lost-gone-into-hiding confidence. its been cruelly separated from me.

i'm not normal.
i'm not in the right state of mind now.
maybe to u, this post is extremely rubbish and silly.
maybe, just maybe, not much ppl read this anyway.
so leave me alone
to cry


{until tomorrow}

Saturday, June 02, 2007


@12:28 AM

Good news!!!!

I am finally JOBLESS!
J-O-B-L-E-S-S!

i am free to wake up at lunch time
use the com for hours
doing online window(literally) shopping
watch HK serials
paint my nails
do pretty nailart
rot on the sofa
while staring at my nails
take afternoon naps
eat junk food
exercise
and eat again

YAY!!

i ate ALOT ok...really...

East Coast big feast
KFC
Swensens (of cos with the ice-cream)
Dim sum at Tung Lok
Newton Circus big feast
MacDonalds
Laksa (damn big bowl)
Buffet lunch for my niece's one-month party



all the good food in one week...its like shiokness to the max...
but its also guilt-ness to the max la...hahahha.

i totally love hawker centres ok....TOTALLY
ask me out to ECP any time!

ohya...i accepted ntu biological sci...
decided that i really cannot accept nus civil engineering...very not me...
hopefully my passion for bio will take me somewhere...*pray hard*
yesterday nus civil engineering professor called me.
he asked if i have accepted nus.
it was so embarassing to tell him i accepted ntu instead.
but in the end he was very understanding and supportive when i explained my reason. =)

today i went shopping with gen...first spree since GSS started.
spent like $70 over plus...
honestly, i didnt intend to buy anything at all, ANYTHING
but i cant help it ok...
aiya i am a bad girl la...
NO MORE SHOPPING FOR ME ALR!
or i can find someone to sponsor my shopping...
wahahahahhaahhaha =x


{until tomorrow}


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