@1:58 PM
I watched as baby darius drifted off to sleep. His big round eyes slowly closing and his little mouth let off a tired yawn. I can tell that baby darius was comfortably and safely falling asleep, tucked in my arms.
How wonderful.
That feeling is really amazing when I made darius sleep yesterday. Carrying him in my arms with his head resting on my shoulders, gently rocking my body back and forth and petting him on his thighs, that was all it takes to let him know that it was safe to sleep.
I was somewhat excited when darius actually fell asleep. My first time making a baby sleep! And I quite enjoy the moment even though my arms eventually felt tired and my back was aching a bit. Luckily mummy came into the room and offered to take darius from me so that she can put him on his bed. Then, I kept staring at him while he was sleeping soundly. (ok shit i sound like a pedophile now. eh thats not true, he's really damn cute, even when asleep.)
Ahhhh i miss darius now! Miss playing silly games with him, miss his megawatt smile, miss his baby smell, miss his incomprehensible baby talk, miss his attention-seeking acts, miss everything about him! even when he poo and cry and vomit his milk out. =D
***
December is coming to an end soon. Lotsa stuff happened this month. Like duh, it's the HOLS leh of course must be happening la!
Being the emotional me, I tend to put my feelings into the things I do or the things I encounter. And so, certain things that probably seem normal to others, may seem like a big fuss to me. Yea, I get sad easily. Especially over things that matters to me.
Wee keat said that sometimes, I try too hard to please. I agree. I can't take failures, I can't take cannot for an answer. When I expect something to happen, I will make it happen, even though I may complain and grumble and bitch about it. Why? I dont like to feel or I dont like others to think that I dont have the ability to make things happen. Many times, I feel that I have zero self-confidence. I care too much about what others think. I can't be like wee keat and go "fuck what other people think la".
So for this Christmas, if santa is real, I wish for more personality, and more strength.
Merry Christmas everyone. Have a blessed xmas, filled with all things bright and lovely.
{
until tomorrow}
